Lord! Change Him!

Lord! Change Him!

How many women wished their husbands would spend more time with them? If you are like me and others who are married to men serving in ministry, finding quality time together can often be challenging. How can ministry wives deal with this challenge without becoming resentful in their relationships with their husbands?

When my husband and I first got married, I moved 2,500 miles from my home in Ottawa to his home in Edmonton, Alberta to begin our new life together. It was a new experience for me on many fronts – new marriage, new city, new culture, and new church. My husband was already serving as the youth pastor in the church he was attending, and the demands of that ministry position were fairly high. After a while my husband’s enthusiasm for serving the Lord and the church was becoming a bit of an issue for me and, quite frankly, I was becoming a bit resentful. I thought to myself that if we were going to have a happy marriage, my husband had to change. I would pray, Lord, change him! Let him see my need for some attention! In prayer, it did not take too long for me to realize that I was the one who needed to change. I needed to see my husband and his gifts and his love for serving the Lord and His people in the same way God saw them. What nagging or giving the silent treatment could not do; accepting and celebrating who God called my husband to be and do was the healing balm for any resentment I carried. I was the one who needed to change!

Are you experiencing similar circumstances right now? Are you trying to change your spouse, or are you helping them discover and fulfill God’s plans for their life? Here are a few ways both husbands and wives can encourage each other in walking out their life purpose together:

  1. Affirm your spouse daily recognizing their talents and abilities. A simple word spoken or a short note of encouragement goes a long way to build self-confidence.
  2. Pray for and with your spouse daily. Allow the Lord to build your love for each other.
  3. Examine whether your motives for encouraging your spouse are based on the right reasons. Doing something good for your spouse based on selfish reasons is not a good approach
  4. Make quality time on a regular basis to focus on or support your spouse’s passion or on one of their favorite pastimes. Consider, too, that one of the best ways to show your support to your spouse is to give them time and space to pursue their own passions.
  5. Remember the qualities that made you fall in love with your spouse in the first place as these will bring you through any challenges.

Lord! Change him?  No! Change me!


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